Becoming a father is humbling experience and I realized it first hand when Ira, our daughter came to our life about 4 months ago. A lot of people have told me that becoming father is a experience of a lifetime and changes your life forever. Now this is true for sure as it is nature’s law that all living organisms would like their Genes to be transferred to future generations and mostly written in our genetic program. This article is about practical challenges that one should be prepared for and an attempt to make the journey less stressful

Expectant father plays a supporting role in this whole exercise because since conception it is mother who keeps the child in her womb for the gestational cycle on an average of 40 weeks.

Hospital/Doctor to Choose?

One of the decision points that one has to take is Birthing Centers like Motherhood, Cloud Nine, Rainbow or hospitals like Fortis, Apollo, Manipal. Even these hospital have Birthing centers like Fortis La Femme or Appolo Cradle which are very close to Birthing centers. There will be other local nursing homes that one can go to if you are aware of it and have recommendations from family and friends or if you are the lucky ones who either know the Doctor or are friends with them. If the expectant mother has some complications like Diabetic, it is advisable to go for a hospital rather than a birthing center. You can go to same place and cover both maternity and diabetologist at one place. Also both doctors works in tandem so being colleagues from the same hospital helps. If there are no specific preconditions than birthing centers are also fine. They are much more friendlier to visitors and give a pleasant experience than traditional hospitals who have lot of constraints on visiting hours and age restrictions for young kids. Once you have chosen a hospital and doctor the story will start that will go for another 40 weeks like a clockwork

Regular Regimen?

As per my experience get ready for ultrasound scans every month at the very least. First scan detects the presence of a formation but if pregnancy is detected within a month then there is normally no heartbeat detected. Normally in the second scan heartbeat is detected. With subsequent scans there will be considerable growth and you can see the nature’s wonder working. Most of the times father’s are waiting outside the scanning center and will be called to see the at the end of it to witness baby’s growth. It is a humbling experience to see this. Please make sure to book scan appointments when doctor assigns a date for that. In our country scanning centers are always busy. Many hospitals will have a separate scan facility for maternity which is really helpful otherwise one has to wait with general patients and waiting times are 2-3 hours. Apart from scans there will be prescribed vitamins like Iron and Calcium for the mother for large part of the pregnancy. For Diabetics moms, few doctors are recommending tablets like Glycomet rather than insulin injection which is historically used as it is believed not to cross placenta. This depends on the mom and how much pain she can take for the baby.

Hospital Admission

Very soon the clock strikes and its time to get admitted. Doctors would hint you about the delivery process, based on how much mother is cooperating and her ability to take pain. Doctors may advise to try for normal delivery but if you see from the perspective of time that a doctor and hospital staff needs to spend for a normal delivery it is unpredictable. Today’s hospital process is like a assembly line and nobody wants assembly line to be clogged and needs predictability and one way to guarantee that is undertake a C-section which has become common in cities and corporate hospitals. Whatever be the case, normal or C-section, the stay at the hospital is about 3-4 days if baby has no need for intensive care.

Feeding?

Baby are connected to the placenta in the womb and their nourishment is ensured 24/7. When they are out this stops and normally Doctors advise feeding once in two hours or SOS. Breast Feeding is something which is stressed a lot, but the mother ability to feed the baby depends on many factors. Above all it is the willingness to feed and do whatever it takes. In my case my wife for some reason was not very particular about it and initially baby was not latching onto the breast as she was sure of holding and after a C-section it take 2 days to be able to walk around. When we came home we tried manual pump, motorised pump, Lectera medicine and what not but my wife was becoming adamant about not feeding. I tried forcing, pleading and other tricks but of not much help. There is postpartum stress factors that make mothers little difficult to deal with. Also my mother-in-law kind of supported her saying that she doesn’t have milk. My kid from the beginning is on formula powder.

Help and Support?

If you are not a joint family and live alone in a city away from family, you will need support. In my case my mother-in-law was little resourceful and was able to convince a person from here hometown to come over. That has helped us a lot. My wife was not ready to deal with all of this and how this would have been possible without any help is unimaginable. Try to make sure there is some help. I was not very sure about and was thinking of hiring someone in Bangalore but the support that is needed in night for a new born demands a full time support in help or in mother-in-law or your own mother which may be difficult for them.

Pediatrician?

Once the baby is out of hospital it is time to find a good one in and around your place. I was taking the baby to same hospital for more than 3 months but recently have found someone close to our flat. Check with your family and friends who might have some references. Make sure the doctor is nearby and actually shares his number with you.

This is very basic guide that I can think of. Consider this as “Project Herculean” with timeline and completion somewhat fluctuating. Since you have hit this page I wish you all the best, after all men’s support is more or less discounted in all of this.